SOC-102
| Stats | |
|---|---|
| Status | Mysterious |
| Researcher | huck |
We discovered a strange machine that we describe as follows:
A person-sized chamber that appears to be made of solid glass, the long side horizontal along the ground, like a coffin. The glass is kind of foggy, but if you look closely, you can see there is some kind of soft texture inside which we theorize to be cushioning. There appears to be a "pillow"-like object inside as well, though it's fixed to the walls of the "pod".
To the side of the pod, there is a screen with a QWERTY keyboard attached, backspace and arrow keys and all. If you type into the keyboard, it shows up on the screen. If you press "Enter", there are lights on the top of the screen that flash either red or blue. The phrase "PAUSE-POD" can be seen underneath the screen in a font that looks like a logo.
At this time, we have no idea if the pod can be opened.
Testing Logs
Initial Test
We could not find a way to open the pod, whether via buttons or switches or anything. There is no maintenance panel and the only visible way to interface with the object was to type phrases into the keyboard. These inputs tended to get an "invalid input" response from the machine, which seems to imply there is a valid input. There is no manual. Only one way to find out.
| Phrase entered | Pod response | Research notes |
|---|---|---|
| purpose | "Invalid Input" | |
| 0123456789 | "Invalid Input" | Seeing if numbers create a different response. |
| abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz | "Invalid Input" | |
| status | "Invalid Input" | |
| hi | "Invalid Input" | Trying random phrases between 2-10 characters. |
| one | "Invalid Input" | |
| four | "Invalid Input" | |
| three | "Invalid Input" | |
| greets | "Invalid Input" | |
| explode | "Invalid Input" | |
| explodes | "Invalid Input" | |
| labyrinth | "Invalid Input", Blue text instead of red. | Blue? |
At this point, we decided to stop inputting phrases for the time being, in case the blue text had noticeable effects and also to figure out why the hell it was blue this time. Nothing happened and we still don't know.
Testing Phase #1
Senior Object Goon A. P. Citron¹ assigned itself to the as-of-yet unassigned Pause-Pod case at this time and immediately oversaw the creation of two testing groups - GEEKS and GAMERS. Both groups had some familiarity or interest in puzzle-solving, though the kind of puzzles relevant to their expertise is sort of hinted at by the name of the testing group itself. Both groups were to have no direct contact with each other, and initially, the testing groups were to be kept unaware of each other's existence.
¹ While Citron occasionally identifies itself as "Dr. Citron", it is not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination and Citron is the kind of person to cry at the sight of a deceased worm.
GEEKS
"GEEKS" consists of some individuals from the initial testing group, with the addition of a few other junior Stupid Object Goons. Some individuals in this group have experience with deductive/cryptographic language puzzles. We expect this to look like another one of A. P. Citron's weird social experiments to them, and for the GEEKS to react accordingly.
| Phrase entered | Pod response | Research notes |
|---|---|---|
| end | Red | |
| resume | Blue | Word has multiple pronunciations. |
| read | Red | |
| potato | Blue | |
| house | Blue | "labyrinth", "resume", "potato", "house" all have three vowels. |
| shack | Blue | |
| prison | Blue | Starting to think blue means "satisfies one condition". |
| garage | Blue | Locations seems to be blue. Follows three-vowel pattern but no difference in response, maybe a different commonality? |
| theater | Blue | |
| help | Red | |
| come on work with me here | Red | |
| garage burger | Pod opens. | First time pod has opened. |
Object is pending updated description after this discovery.
GAMERS
"GAMERS" consists of junior Object Goons (JOGs?) that are overall less familiar with Citron's research process, but have a breadth of knowledge in popular culture, current events, and game design. We expect them to try to cast a wide net in their guesses, or at least provide us with a lot of data.
| Phrase entered | Pod response | Research notes |
|---|---|---|
| how are ya | Red | |
| Red | ||
| Google dot com | Blue | That was quick. |
| Google search | Blue | |
| Google dot com search function | Blue | |
| Google customer support | Red | |
| Open sesame | Red | |
| Who's afraid of gender by Judith Butler | Blue | |
| please open the door :( | Red | |
| Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet | Red | |
| Engine | Blue | |
| Search Engine | Blue | |
| X | Red | |
| ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ | Red | |
| Train | Blue | |
| House | Blue | |
| Verb | Blue | |
| Noun | Blue | |
| ジュディス・バトラー著／ジェンダーを恐れるのは誰か | Blue | "Who's Afraid of Gender?" by Judith Butler |
| Blue | Red | |
| Red | Red | |
| pause-pod | Blue | |
| Ajdbshfsbhnbypiyshbtag | Red | |
| Gender Identity | Red | |
| Sausage Mcgriddle | Blue | |
| door | Blue | |
| gate | Blue | |
| portcullis | Blue | |
| Grande Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino | Blue | |
| Strawberry | Blue | |
| Archipelago | Red | |
| Ballet | Blue | |
| Credit card | Blue | |
| Carrot | Blue | |
| Zootopia 2 | Pod opens. | Bewilderment from research group. |
Really? "Zootopia 2"? Okay.
Post-Test
An e-mail was sent to both research groups, declassifying their existence to each other:
Hello SOGs, those of you receiving this email may have been enlisted in an ongoing research case regarding one of our newest Stupid Objects. For context, I have self-assigned myself to oversee the "Pause-Pod" case, the thing that looks like a cushy glass coffin with a keyboard attached to it.
I've kept you guys in the dark about the whole research arrangement here to see if the object responds differently to different groups of people or if you guys could get any insights that the other group(s) could not. However, this is taking a long ass time, so I will lay it out now:
- There are two research groups, internally labeled "GEEKS" and "GAMERS".
- The "GEEKS" were the first group to get the pod to open. It's not a contest by any means, but congrats!
- We don't know what the pod does when it opens, but at this time we're NOT letting an actual person get in there. This is one of our most mysterious objects in our collection yet and we don't want to risk anyone getting hurt.
We have at least two phrases that will open the pod: "garage burger" and uh, "Zootopia 2". I guess. Us senior researchers are going to investigate the effects of the pod itself behind the scenes; in the meantime we'd like you all to continue trying to figure out if there's any rhyme or reason to these phrases because we still have no clue. Thankies
Dr. Citron
Senior Object Goon
Further analysis of the Pause-Pod's inner chamber has led to the conclusion that it is, in fact, designed to look like a bed of some kind.