SOC-005: Difference between revisions

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[[File:SOC-005.png|thumb|Researcher ████ holding SOC-005 during initial containment mission.]]
{{Infobox
SOC-005 is a baby doll that was found on the shelf in a large chain supermarket. This doll was not on any inventory list for the supermarket, and was pulled from the shelf by Stupid Object Research Personnel once its anomalous properties were discovered. The doll is currently in a soundproof box, where hopefully nobody will have to deal with it anymore.
| name    = {{{name|{{PAGENAME}}}}}
| title    = Coughing Baby
| image    = [[File:SOC-005.png|200px|alt=Creepy baby doll]]
| caption1 = {{{caption|Researcher ████ holding SOC-005 during initial containment mission.}}}
 
| header2  = Stats
 
| label3  = Status
|  data3  = {{{status|Scary}}}
 
| label4  = Researcher
| data4    = starsystemerror
}}
 
SOC-005 is a baby doll that was found on the shelf in a large chain supermarket. This doll was not on any inventory list for the supermarket, and was pulled from the shelf by [[Stupid Objects|Stupid Object]] Research Personnel once its anomalous properties were discovered. The doll is currently in a soundproof box, where hopefully nobody will have to deal with it anymore.


SOC-005 appears to contain a small speaker device, which when activated, produces a sound identical in auditory experience to the cough of a human infant with severe bronchitis. Activation of the speaker may be done manually by by squeezing the doll, though it has been observed to activate independently when loud noises occur nearby. If the speaker is activated repeatedly in succession, the cough will increase in volume, as well as the apparent age of the "person" producing the coughing. If the speaker is activated more than five times within ten minutes, the sixth activation will produce a sound identical to that produced by the detonation of a small thermonuclear bomb. It is theorized that further activations would increase the apparent size of the bomb sound produced, but experimentation has not proceeded beyond this point, because it really really hurt the ears of the researchers doing it and they had to go home.
SOC-005 appears to contain a small speaker device, which when activated, produces a sound identical in auditory experience to the cough of a human infant with severe bronchitis. Activation of the speaker may be done manually by by squeezing the doll, though it has been observed to activate independently when loud noises occur nearby. If the speaker is activated repeatedly in succession, the cough will increase in volume, as well as the apparent age of the "person" producing the coughing. If the speaker is activated more than five times within ten minutes, the sixth activation will produce a sound identical to that produced by the detonation of a small thermonuclear bomb. It is theorized that further activations would increase the apparent size of the bomb sound produced, but experimentation has not proceeded beyond this point, because it really really hurt the ears of the researchers doing it and they had to go home.


Consider it '''Scary.'''


Consider it '''Scary.'''
[[Category:Stupid Objects]]

Latest revision as of 15:23, 5 May 2024

Coughing Baby
Creepy baby doll
Researcher ████ holding SOC-005 during initial containment mission.
Stats
StatusScary
Researcherstarsystemerror

SOC-005 is a baby doll that was found on the shelf in a large chain supermarket. This doll was not on any inventory list for the supermarket, and was pulled from the shelf by Stupid Object Research Personnel once its anomalous properties were discovered. The doll is currently in a soundproof box, where hopefully nobody will have to deal with it anymore.

SOC-005 appears to contain a small speaker device, which when activated, produces a sound identical in auditory experience to the cough of a human infant with severe bronchitis. Activation of the speaker may be done manually by by squeezing the doll, though it has been observed to activate independently when loud noises occur nearby. If the speaker is activated repeatedly in succession, the cough will increase in volume, as well as the apparent age of the "person" producing the coughing. If the speaker is activated more than five times within ten minutes, the sixth activation will produce a sound identical to that produced by the detonation of a small thermonuclear bomb. It is theorized that further activations would increase the apparent size of the bomb sound produced, but experimentation has not proceeded beyond this point, because it really really hurt the ears of the researchers doing it and they had to go home.

Consider it Scary.